As we are embarking on a new 14 Day Sexy Spring Challenge I am often brought right back to the feelings of helplessness when I started to get my life on track. I wanted it to happen fast. I didn’t want to wait and I often spiraled into thoughts of just giving up.
But I just started somewhere.
Between the years of 1996- 2001 I was a single mom of 2, on welfare, food stamps, WIC, Medi-cal, working two jobs and living on my own in goverment housing assistance. Early in those days I was on anti-depressants. My docs said that my depression during that time was situational. I’d say so…I was essentially at rock bottom.
19 years old, 2 kids and feeling pretty low in life
When I transitioned into working full time in the medical field and no longer on government aide, I wanted so badly off of my medication. I hated relying on it and the only word I can think of to describe how it made me feel was “numb”.
It was almost a 10 year roller coaster of going off and on my meds. I weaned myself off completely when I got pregnant with my youngest son Tyson in 2006. My body went through some fucked up chemical imbalances during that process and it wasn’t easy. I do NOT recommend doing this and you need to see your doctor if that is something you want to consider doing.
What would happen when I would slide back into a depressive funk is that I would want to avoid doing anything. I’d let my thoughts get the best of me. I’d eventually talk myself into staying in bed, emotionally eating and shutting myself out from those who I loved.
I was tired, suffered severe stomach issues, anxiety, depression, very low self esteem and had no energy for life. I was a single mom, chasing kids, working 2 jobs and felt miserable in my body. I couldn’t imagine wearing a swimsuit, shorts or anything tight and revealing.
Around 2007, shortly after Tysons birth, I worked from home and dedicated any of my free time to diving back into fitness. I remembered my spurts of working out and how good it made me feel when I would stick to it. It was a shit-show of trying anything and everything. Usually for short periods of time with no real “success”.
I put my time and energy into making mini-goals for myself and then ultimately I would give up. It was a bumpy road of trial and error.
Eventually I realized I couldn’t keep diet-hopping, exercising just to lose weight and living in such a constant state of stress and lack.
I had to think like an already fit and successful person. Then my actions needed to follow those goals.
Do fit people eat corn dogs and deep fried burritos daily? Hmmm probably not. I started to eat like I was already fit and changes started happening.
Do successful people hold back from trying new things? Doubtful. I started stepping outside my comfort zone, taking risks and learning from my mistakes.
The most important thing I did to turn my life around was just learning and DOING. I applied this strategy in everything I did. I wanted to learn how to get my body back in shape from 202 pounds so I did. I wanted to get off welfare and I did. I wanted to buy a house so I did. I wanted to compete in bodybuilding shows, so I did. I wanted to own a successful business so I did.
And guess what? I didn’t know how to do any of those things on my own. I figured it out, failed a bunch but kept moving forward.
The alternative? Stay scared and fearful and live a life of struggle, depression and regret.
How does this relate to you and taking charge? Because I want you to know that even though your goals may not look like mine, YOUR goals are ones that need YOUR attention.
This requires some action on your end. Take charge. I want you to quit pissing away the days that you have before you and go after what you want.
Read. Study. Google. Learn. But most importantly – TAKE ACTION. Find people who are where you want to be and have the results that you want to achieve. Model their actions and then tweak them to fit your lifestyle.
So many of my Goddesses are taking charge and squashing excuses. Even on days when you are a little tired, feeling less than excited and motivated or frustrated with what you think of as “lack of results”, don’t distract yourself with negative mental chatter. Chock it up to a bad day and know that you can shift your perspective immediately if you choose to. And you can. I believe in you.
Things to remind yourself of when you are ready to make a change in your body, life, situation…anything really:
- Change takes time but time will pass anyway. Get started somewhere.
- Going at anything alone will increase your odds at giving up when times get tough. Find a tribe or support system to check in with and hold you accountable.
- Perfection is overrated. Trying to be perfect will set you up for failure and you’ll beat yourself up. Remember ELBC = Every Little Bit Counts
- Procrastination is the killer of greatness. Putting things off until “the time is right” or you are “ready” is a myth. That never comes. Just jump in. You’ll figure it out as you go.
- If someone promises you quick results and it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Run the other way.
Movement towards your goals is progress. Go grab life by the balls by tipping that first domino and creating forward momentum.
I always tell my goddesses, the moment that you start having that little conversation in your head that you “can’t, won’t, don’t”… you are right. Because, if you begin to think these things, then ultimately you are giving up and won’t proceed with taking charge.
It starts with your thoughts. Those thoughts then become things. Shift your mindset and see how dramatically it can change your life.
Ready to get started on writing a new story for yourself?
It’s time to get on board with a new way of thinking about fat loss. My 14 Day Sexy Spring Challenge is the gateway to your Fit, Sexy and Confident lifestyle.
Make sure to go HERE to enroll. The program starts Monday, March 13th and is almost FULL. There is a studio AND online version so you can participate from anywhere there is an internet connection 🙂