Why Are We Really Complaining?

There are times in life when, instead of complaining, you do something about your complaints. -Rita Dove


I’ve been complaining a lot lately. I hate it. It hasn’t been over anything incredibly earth shattering, but enough to where I’m growing tired of the sound of my own complaining thoughts.

One of my more frequent annoyances is dog hair. One of the furry children, Roger, sheds a ton. His long red and white hairs get everywhere. I can’t keep up with the massive hairballs floating across our hardwood floors.

It annoys me. Anything he lies on is instantly covered in a blanket of fur. So naturally, I complain about it.

But, one particular weekend was different.  As I was vacuuming up the gobs of hair, I said aloud “I am so sick of having to keep up with all of his shedding. Every other day the rugs are covered in hair”.

No sooner did the words come out of my mouth, when I realized that I complain about this issue pretty much every day. And again, I’m tired of hearing myself complain about it.

So, naturally, I pulled out the clippers and spent over an hour shaving Roger.



Drastic? Maybe. But guess what? There has been a lot less dog hair around my house lately and I’m done complaining. Score!!

If there is one thing that I can’t stand it’s complaining. Sure I’m guilty of it, but I try to get down to the bottom of why I’m complaining so that I can solve the issue.

This is just a very simplistic example of trivial complaining. However, when there are larger issues at hand in my life that I continue to complain about, I start to do some inner work on where it’s stemming from.


Here are 5 questions that I ask myself when I find myself complaining about a recurring issue:

  1. If it’s a negative behavior that I Keep repeating. What’s triggering it?
  2. Is it possible to change perspective and kill the complaints in their tracks?
  3. Am I unhappy with someone but yet continue to avoid having a conversation to address an issue or look for a possible solution?
  4. If it is a situation that I cannot control, what good will come out of continually complaining?
  5. What do I fear coming up when I get to the root of what I’m complaining about?

Confrontation? Finally dealing with something I’ve been in denial about? Emotions?

As we start to ask ourselves these questions, we can start to train our mind to focus on going after solutions on how we prefer to feel (rather than complain-y and negative) and where we need to focus our attention on what’s not working. Otherwise we settle into living in perpetual complaint that pulls on our soul.

This takes practice, but helps you design your life around creating less stress and more ease in everything you do…relationships, home life and even something as simple as dog hair.


Along with a sprinkling of meditation, a yoga practice that invites you to dive deep into your desires and a sensual movement lesson that will have you feeling incredible powerful in your vulnerability – we will be tapping into what you really want in The Goddess Getaway Mini Retreat on September 9th.

This will be a full day of cracking open your truest self. No holding back on what you want anymore. The days of complaining about the big things will be behind you. You’ll feel like you’ve awakened finally ready to live your life and quit sleepwalking through the bullshit.

A full day spent with likeminded women who are ready to make big shifts in their ways of being and in their lives. This retreat will be deeply rooted in Danielle LaPortes The Desire Map program. As a certified facilitator of her program, I’m thrilled to be able to bring this work alive in a workshop setting.

Gina and I will be asking a lot of you at the retreat. You’ll go well beyond the exercises in the actual book and we have no doubt that you’ll emerge with some life changing breakthroughs and fire in your heart to live your life much differently.

The early bird price is going away soon for The Goddess Getaway Mini Retreat on September 9th. Make sure to read all the details here


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